Dumbest Link Exchange Request Ever

Gimme a Link and I’ll Stop Spamming Ya

Patrick Altoft of Blogstorm noticed the World’s Worst Link Exchange Request and asked “whats worse than a link exchange email?” Well, I’ve got a very strong candidate for you. How about a link exchange request delivered through the medium of comment spam requesting follow up on IM. Today I logged into WordPress to approve comments and found this unakismetted comment from someone named, Richard:

hello, my name is Richard and I know you get a lot of spammy comments,

I can help you with this problem. I know a lot of spammers and I will ask them not to post on your site. It will reduce the volume of spam by 30-50%. In return Id like to ask you to put a link to my site on the index page of your site. The link will be small and your visitors will hardly notice it, its just done for higher rankings in search engines. Contact me icq [removed] or write me [removed], i will give you my site url and you will give me yours  if you are interested. thank you

I just may approve this comment after all :)

Update from Richard 9-10-07: This may be the first case of someone achieving celebrity status through spam. This time we see the human side of Richard the Spammer as he introduces his wife, “Dosia,” confesses his guilt and appeals to our sense of hope…

Hello guys ! This is Richard again,
Im here again to help you solve the comment spam problem, I got tons of emails and wasnt able to help all of you but Ill do my best. I am a very nice guy actually, and I want to save the internet world! As I told you I know a lot of spammers because my wife Dosia and I work at a large link spam company. When I saw the blogs, guestbooks and forums full of spammy links I was shocked! I wanted to stop this pest, and I know there is a note book in the office where these techniques are kept secret. Im trying hard to find this secret book. As soon as I find it Ill tell you guys how to prevent the spam comments. Im in danger now guys because my boss will spank me hard for this if he finds out I want to ruin his business! I feel very guilty because these people gave a job for us and we are ruining their business. I know they have a website and they look for links thats why i asked you for a link to their site for me not to feel so guilty and do something good for them too. My wife and I will probably be fired :( But we are ready for this to save you. Thank you guys, dont worry, Ill help all of you. Please believe me and our dream will come true.

From Richard and Dosia with love. icq [removed]

I can confirm that the both messages came from the same IP address. I can’t wait to see what Richard says next time!

Emory Rowland

Emory Rowland is editor and keeper of the flame at Clickfire. He's a fanatical blogger, entrepreneur and builder of Internet things from way back. Emory's love for social media and success with organic search led him to start a SEO consulting venture. Apart from the Internet, he could be considered by many as pretty worthless. More...

21 comments

  1. Man, I wish I thought of that one. It isn’t really that stupid, it’s just poor timing. That might have worked really well two or three years ago.

  2. I have heard that some have tried to link to their competitors from bad neighborhoods to lower their rankings, but if this type of extortion works, who’s to say that they won’t continue?

    Great idea though!

  3. Well, at least they are trying to do something new. :)

  4. Emory Rowland

    Perhaps “Funniest” or “Most Creative” Link Exchange Ever would better suit. There is so much going on in that one paragraph.

  5. Teejay

    That’s is funny. Its more of a threat than a request.

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  7. Eric

    The sad part, as is with most cons, is that someone will always fall for it. Otherwise those Nigerian emails wouldn’t still be circulating. There will always be a newbie that will think that this person is there to help. Judging from the grammar I would say English was not his first language. It is funny though.

    I would be interested in finding out how this person actually benefits from this sort of exchange. Might be worth replying just to get the URL and follow-up.

  8. Adrian

    Now that is funny “i know spammers” haha tell me what was your response? I would have fallen off my chair in laughter just reading that lol

    I get all those Nigerian emails all the time and here’s the latest… and they sent it to the WRONG person LOL!!!… or wait or did they send that in the hopes of making me think the Nigerian was telling the truth? I tell you what they are tricky!

    My Dear Friend,

    [too much crap i will not put you through it] blah blah blah

    Name.Mr.Jude Eze
    Email: [removed]
    Phone [removed]
    He will send you a CERTIFIED BANK DRAFT of (M$1000.000.00) compensation which I kept for all the past efforts and attempts you made to assist me in that transaction.

    Most importantly, send to him your current Contact Address and your Telephone Numbers to enable him send you the BANK DRAFT.

    Please let me know immediately you receive it so that I can share the joy with you.

    Thanks and God bless you.

    [removed]

    [removed]

    I removed most of the contact details and loads of crap text going on about how i helped his country blah blah blah!

  9. So funny, Richard is such a nice guy. I hope he can save me, I’m in grave danger of getting life threatening spam.

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  11. Jon

    OMG! That is so great! I wish the “OMITED” wasn’t “OMITED”…hehehe

  12. I would be interested in finding out how this person actually benefits from this sort of exchange

  13. Link me or I’ll spam ya! – LOL!

    This has to be the funniest thing ever! What cracks me up is how sincere he is about the whole thing.

    “My wife and I will probably be fired :( But we are ready for this to save you. Thank you guys, dont worry, Ill help all of you. Please believe me and our dream will come true.”

    I do not doubt this guy had trouble righting this, he probably was dying of laughter as he was typing the whole thing up.

    This is definitely the sorriest attempt at a link exchange…Ever!

    Thanks for your sharing this one Emory, definitely a good laugh!

  14. Emory Rowland

    Well, it looks like we’ve turned something bad into something good. This spam has been recycled :)

  15. jack

    This has to be the funniest thing ever!

  16. There will always be a newbie that will think that this person is there to help. Judging from the grammar I would say English was not his first language. It is funny though.

  17. I don’t think Richard is a nerd. And I don’t believe he has a wife. If he had a job he would not waste his time doing such useless stuff. Despite some exposure that he seems to have he thinks he is trying to fool everybody and probably helps himself to a laugh. For some, that makes their day

  18. Mohsin

    Richard might me another spammer. hahahahaha

  19. AHMED

    Im in danger now guys because my boss will spank me hard for this if he finds out I want to ruin his business! I feel very guilty because these people gave a job for us and we are ruining their business. I know they have a website and they look for links thats why i asked you for a link to their site for me not to feel so guilty and do something good for them too.

    i think the ending is funniest thing ever ha ha haaaa

  20. buyer structured settlement

    Well, that is one way to get your SPAM comment approved. lol
    I wonder if he likes being spanked by his boss. ;O

  21. Bazijoo

    Well, at least they are trying to do something new.

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